Some of you may know I have been suffering from a lung infection for a couple of weeks. It took me a long time to finally come to senses with myself and realize why it’s taking me so long to heal. I had to really be open and honest with myself as well as seek a few ‘tools’ to help myself heal, process information, manage stress and balance out my emotions.
Last year December 2018
Roughly 8 months ago, my husband and I decided to move from Johannesburg to beautiful Cape Town. Barry got a job promotion and everything seemed to work out perfectly as soon as we made our final decision to move. We have been daydreaming about moving to Cape Town for so long. So we jumped onto it.
We didn’t jump gracefully or carefully, we jumped head first. We took on a few things we didn’t know how to do, we trusted people and things started going horribly wrong.
I was in the pursuit of working two jobs, I had to sell a coffee truck I owned, give up a lot of things I worked so hard for and started a new business, not knowing what was going to happen next. It was just a serious leap of faith!
In January, a few complications and confusion came about with my husband’s job. He had to go back to Johannesburg and we were not sure for how long or what was going to happen next. Everything started going south from there, I started losing my health, my sanity and my hope.
My fear took over and anxiety was creeping in. About 8 weeks ago, things reached its peak. I was truly just debilitated with anxiety. I couldn’t get through a day without crumbling under exhaustion.
I struggled to remember things, made small simple mistakes. I couldn’t focus. I had to concentrate so hard in conversations with others, it was a strain to keep my mind in the present moment. Everything was a struggle for me, moving, eating and sleeping.
Barry and I couldn’t see each other often enough, we averaged 4-6 weeks a time without seeing each other. It was really hard. Finally in May he said, I am sick of this not knowing what is going to happen and being held on a line. We both just needed some relief. Some answers.
The company he works for have been trying to create a position for him in Cape Town, knowing our situation. It’s been a swarm of mixed emotions, as we get false hope each time.
A few weeks later, it sums up to this; I have a lung infection, my antibodies aren’t high enough to fight it. Likely because my adrenals have been shot from 7 months of chronic stress and major life changes. In the midst of all of this, I have been so ashamed.
Ashamed that I am sick
Ashamed of things I thought I could fix. Ashamed of not exercising, my face is puffy and I really don’t look like a girl you should come see to encourage you in your health.
Ashamed that I preach self- care and self- worth and I‘ve been deeply drowning in a severe lack of both. I inspire others to listen to their bodies and here I am not being able to hear what mine is trying to tell me.
I always say everything happens for a reason, but I keep questioning the purpose of all of this. Thankfully throughout the entire journey, I met an incredible therapist Tanya Lee Collop from The Sacred of Being.
In our treatments we concentrated on bringing frequencies to balance, relaxing the nervous system and uniting the bodies’ energy with the innate wisdom of healing. Tanya uses flowers, herbs, colour and crystals. They soothe, rebalance, recalibrate and regenerate our fields in many unique ways.
She kept reminding me of my self- worth. Even our ugliness and deep dark valleys are worthy. She helped me to visualize my purpose. It all started with one simple intention, ‘Evolve to higher planes of spiritual enlightenment’.
Healing is possible, it’s real
So I put on my big girl panties and Tanya helped me to create a plan. She helped me to be clear on what is it I am creating and what I am building. I realized every part of our journey is worth it, because we grow. It helps us to change and improve who we are.
The last couple of months my faith has been tested on all sorts of levels and by testing faith comes perseverance. So today I chose to give my life purpose, and sharing this with you may help to give purpose to you whatever it may be.
It’s still an ongoing test, but thank you for walking this journey with me. We are fighting a battle with purpose, so I know we’ll make it with victory!
New things await
Its time, new crazy, scary things await, but we will be ready. Or as ready as we can be. In the meantime I will continue to nourish and heal my body, by practising breath work to create space by getting the old stale air out along with energy balancing and recoding with Tanya to overcome the anxiety and sadness I had to go through this year which in turn will help to heal my lungs.
Psycho- emotional aspect of the lungs
The word used for breathing in is ‘inspiration’ which is the main function of the lung, both physically and spiritually. In emotional and spiritual terms, the lungs rule our processing of grief and trauma and can be greatly detrimented by too much worry and sadness.
The lungs help to balance the ability to yield and demand as well as holding and letting go. When our lungs are out of balance, the energy is out of balance, the emotions are kept under tight control, rules and routines become inflexible and the body stiffens up, making us physically more susceptible to bronchial infections and sinusitis.
Our allergies also become amplified and issues like asthma and heaviness of the chest can appear. I have felt shame and self- doubt around fully expressing my ‘bad’ emotions. Which meant I suppressed my feelings for a long time, which caused emotional upheaval internally causing damage to my corresponding organ system.
Thankfully nature has provided us with a variety of herbs that provide medicinal constituents that support the respiratory system. The ones I end up using to help me heal and recover my immune system were Astragalus, a Chinese herb that helps to strengthen our energetic system as well as the immune system.
The other herb I greatly benefited from using was Mulberry leaf chrysanthemum tea. It helped with relieving the cough and influenza.
Chinese herbal medicine has been utilized for over 2000 years. The medicine consists mostly of plant roots, with other leaves, flowers, seeds and fruit.
After 4 weeks of sickness, I can already feel I am being transformed from the inside out, I have learnt a few powerful life lessons that can propel me to grow even more on my path of self- cultivation. I have also learnt to turn inward and to slow down which is very much essential for the lungs to regain strength and to let go.
I am excited to be fully healed and to fully experience my authentic self. Thank you for taking the time to read my story, I hope it inspired you to turn inward and seek emotional support when needed. We are all human with lots of imperfections, maybe it’s time to be more vulnerable with yourself, which in turn can help to balance and restore a lot of imbalances in the body as well as the emotional well-being.
Dot you later! X